26
Nov
07

Workplace Humor

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
Calvin Coolidge

~~~~~~

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”.  The questions are not that difficult.

  1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
    The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.  This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
  2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
    Wrong Answer :  Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
    Correct Answer : Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
    This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
  3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
    Correct Answer :  The Elephant.  The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.

OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

  1. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
    Correct Answer:  You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.  But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four year old.

Submitted by Powder

~~~~~

Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
 

After a two-year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America’s recreational preferences:

  1. The sport of choice for male unemployed or incarcerated individuals is BASKETBALL.
  2. The sport of choice for male maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
  3. The sport of choice for male front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
  4. The sport of choice for male supervisors is BASEBALL.
  5. The sport of choice for male middle management is TENNIS.
  6. The sport of choice for male corporate officers is GOLF.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become…

Submitted by DkSdBubba

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door.
    Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”

You can find many more of these here: http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/working.htm

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Workplace Humor”


  1. November 26, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    Thanks…I have discovered more about myself today.
    1) I’m not meant for management.
    2) I’m really glad I’m not male and that my husband is not upper management
    3) I need to get a sign printed for my office at home!

  2. 2 John Randals
    November 26, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    The sign one definitely made me laugh. Glad I was able to help you further define who you are.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


November 2007
S M T W T F S
« Oct   Dec »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 281 other followers

Advertisements

%d bloggers like this: