Archive for December 10th, 2007

10
Dec
07

Shopping Humor, sort of!

Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus traveling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a £5 note lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??

Santa of course, the other two don’t exist!

From:  http://www.santaclaus.com/christmas-humor.php

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.

“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”

******

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father, “What is this, Father?”

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, “Go get your mother.”

From:  http://www.catalogs.com/humor.asp

*******
 

HOW MUCH TO GET ON TOP?

After a long day at the computer, Eve Adams, economic consultant opened her mail.

  •  
      Dear Consultant:
  • Your firm is currently on the Timber County Environmental Consultant List on file with the Department of Planning and Building Services. Those firms on the list may receive Requests for Proposals from the County acting a lead agency or be selected by a private project applicant to provide supplemental studies in support of an application related to planning projects which require the services of a planning consultant.

     In order to effectively maintain the consultant list and provide for public interface, it has become necessary to institute a fee of $25.00 for a two year period. It is requested that if you wish to remain on the list, please forward a check to this office in the amount of $25.00 made payable to Timber County.”If $25 gets us on the list, how much will it cost to move to the top of the list?”

Note: This is a quote fro m an actual letter received by a consultant in Chico. Only the county name and the consultant’s name have been changed to protect the guilty.

PRICE IS IMPORTANT!

“My Dear, would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?”

“Well, yes, I guess I would.”

“How about $100?”

“What kind of person do you think I am?”

“My Dear, we have already established that. We are merely haggling over the price!”
 

THE NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT

Newlan’s Truism:

An “acceptable” level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

From:  http://www.csuchico.edu/econ/old/links/econhumor.html




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