Archive for January 22nd, 2008

22
Jan
08

Humor:

What was Elvis’s last great hit?
The bathroom floor!

What would Elvis be doing now if he was alive?
Scratching on his coffin lid!

http://morticom.com/jokeselvis.htm

‘Historian Roy Medvedev looked through the files of Stalin’s political prisoners and concluded that 200,000 people were imprisoned for telling jokes, such as this: Three prisoners in the gulag get to talking about why they are there. “I am here because I always got to work five minutes late, and they charged me with sabotage,” says the first. “I am here because I kept getting to work five minutes early, and they charged me with spying,” says the second. “I am here because I got to work on time every day,” says the third, “and they charged me with owning a western watch.” ’

http://beatroot.blogspot.com/2006/04/hammer-and-tickle-communist-joke-book.html

I tried to find some good Russian Gulag jokes, but there just aren’t any, although this site is kind of funny.  Give it a try, it won’t hurt: http://www.loanmeyoursister.com/index.php?tag=pics

******
I WAS sitting on the beach with my niece’s two young sons while their mother was gathering shells in the distance.  Suddenly, the serenity was shattered by the frantic screams of a young girl on a surfboard, who was being carried out to sea by the current.  In a split second the boys were in the surf, swimming after the terrified girl.  In no time they had her safely back on shore.  I was so proud of their selfless action that on their mother’s return I told her what had happened, adding, “You should have seen them, you would have been so proud too.”   “Oh!” she exclaimed.  Then, after a pause, added, “That’s their surfboard.”

******

A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling.

“I’ve never felt better,” he replies. “I’ve got an eighteen-year-old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “Let me tell you a story. I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season but one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him.”

That’s impossible,” said the old man in disbelief, “someone else must have shot that beaver!”

“Exactly,” said the doctor.

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