Humor: Religion

Q: Did all the animals on the ark come in pairs?
A: No the worms came in apples.


Maintain a healthy level of insanity…

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘for sexual favors.’

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in stall 3.”

Call the psychic hotline and don’t say anything.

Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

Every time you see a broom yell, “Honey, your mother is here!”

I’ve Got Good News and I’ve Got Bad News

God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?”
Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”
God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect.”
Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”
God says, “I’m only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time.”

Sex on the Sabbath

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, “My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath.”
The man thinks: “What does a priest know about sex?”
He goes to minister… a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority — a man of thousands of year’s tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question and states, “My son, sex is definitely play.”
The man replies, “rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”
The rabbi softly speaks, ” If sex were work…my wife would have the maid do it.”


1 Response to “Humor: Religion”

  1. March 24, 2008 at 8:15 am

    I’ve got to pay the bills today…i think i’ll try the “sexual favors” memo and see what happens.

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March 2008

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